You think you know what you would do but the reality is you don’t… We often say “if that were me I’d” or “If I were her/him I’d”… As I said the truth is you do not know what you would do or say if that were you or if you were him/her.
It is human nature to wonder and or assume an outcome of a situation. We imagine ourselves living in the life of someone else and commenting and even advising on how we would handle a situation. Most of the time what we say we would do is not what we really do when the same situation happens to us. This I know from personal experiences past and present.
Maybe the next time you are told a story your response should be “I don’t know what I would do”…I know I am to the point of this new phrase.
I realize today that I will no longer comment or suggest what I would do “if” because I have no idea what I would do “if”…I like to believe/think I would do or say certain things but it could play out completely different than how I “think”. So why guess? Or suggest?
People are living their own lives-young and old and we have to start living our own. Confiding in a family member or friend should be just that someone talking and the other listening. Problems come into play when the confidence is not respected and the story is shared or better yet when the wrong advice is giving. You know the “if I were you I’d” speech…
For example, a woman’s husband is caught cheating. The woman confides in her friend, and tells the friend detail for detail (as often, women do) and the friend says “If I were you I’d leave him etc. etc.”. The woman decides to not leave her husband for many reasons and now this woman has become the topic of many other women’s afternoon gossip. That same friend a year later now finds out her husband is cheating and guess what…she also stays with her husband for many reasons. Funny how when the role was reversed, the woman (friend) did not leave her husband as she “said” she would. And the worse part of this example is if the first woman called her friend out on not leaving her husband as she suggested a year ago the woman would make a million and one excuses about how her situation is different…Is it?
All advice is not bad advice. However, we often forget at times to think for ourselves and make our own life choices. Because when it is all said and done at the end of the day it is your life that you are living and the person offering advice is living their own.
By Shawna K Clark
“The one thing people are the most liberal with, is their advice.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld