Dad I will be okay

Let’s see 17 years ago, I became a father in this crazy world and city that we call Philadelphia and live in. The moment my first was born at a blink of an eye my protective senses began to go into action like never before. It was a wake up call to me to not only realize someone will be depending on me for just about everything for years to come.

That’s a huge challenge and a huge responsibility but you know what, I was not afraid. Are you ever ready to be a parent? Who knows that answer but I tell you this much nature is amazing when you have mouths to feed, tears to wipe, and feelings to caress you can do amazing things. Watching my oldest daughter at that time fall asleep while she drinks her bottle if she could speak she would “Dad I will be okay”.

Years later with 4 kids now my worries are even greater not because I’m afraid as a parent I might fail them but because it’s that natural protection thing happening and asking myself will my kids be okay in this crazy world.

As I watch each grey hair come in monthly and watch my kids slowly become young teenagers and soon to be young adults the worry and somewhat sadness sinks in. Who would have thought that after 18yrs you wouldn’t be quite ready for a few of your kids to fly on their own? I guess in a lot of ways I’m not. These are the times you realize  my mother was not crazy when she asked me where I was going, who I’m with, and what time will I be back. And don’t get me started on the days when I had to come in when the street lights came on you. Talk about being embarrassed lol because all my friends knew about my street light rule UGH!  So now each time one of my kids is out of my sight I wish I can play a recording saying “Dad I will be okay”.

They say girls are the worse hmmm no comment lol but I will say in my opinion girls are the most at risk for something crazy happening to them. Sometimes my kids look at me crazy when I lay the hammer down and demand addresses, numbers, and parents’ names of where they will be at. But guess what- I don’t care!!

I want them safe and sound and around people they can learn from or people they can look up too. I think there is enough as we sometimes say “ghetto-ness” in the streets.  So when I get that text or call (more of a text these days because society has brain washed us all) saying dad I am here and I will be okay! Boy can I sleep a lot easier…

I’m beginning to realize that you never stop being a parent you will always have worry and be concerned about your kids. I sometimes say to myself when I see drug addicts, or thieves and the parents are still by their side, why is that person still there supporting him or her. Then I realize it’s because they are still waiting on that call or text saying “Dad I will be okay”

One of these days when my kids have their own families they will  understand why we have the rules we have, said and say the things we do, and did the things we did and why I am still calling each one of their houses and still will want to here…


By Chef B of Chef Brian Clark Creations & Shawna’s House Inc. VP/Mentor

~a contributing writer for Shawna’s House Inc. Blog


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