Expectations & Relationships

“Relationships are work!” everyone says this but how many of us really realize the truth of it. This applies to all relationships not just the ones with your partner, friends, and family but everyone you relate to and with.

When someone hurts you, upsets you, and or frustrates you; I do not believe the act hurts more than the expectation that you set for that person. We unknowingly expect a lot of people that we have relationships with. When these people do not live up to our expectations we are crushed, devastated, and confused on how this could be. We ask questions that we know we will never get the answer to.  It is not fair of us to expect anyone to live up to our standards. We have to learn to accept people for whom they are and even more- who they show us that they are.

What a hard thing to do- to accept someone for themselves.  Sounds easy; but it is not an easy task.  Now, when I say accept, I do not exactly mean you have to deal with them because believe me, I will be the first to say it is okay to walk away. And that can be you accepting them by choosing not to deal with the person. However, if you decide that your relationship should continue for whatever reason then you need to learn to accept the person for who they are. Accepting of their failures and their rewards in life.

If your pain exceeds your limits of acceptance then make a choice and make one that will be the best for you. I have many relationships as you all do. Family, friends, associates, and every day acquaintances and I struggle at times with remembering that they do not act based on my expectations but based on their own free will and choices.

To try and avoid pain for myself based on other people’s words and behaviors, I try to let them know up front what I expect from them. Or when there is something that I do not like, I make it known. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not.

One of the best tips or pieces of advice I could offer anyone in this situation is to remember to treat people how you want to be treated-Yes…The Golden Rule of Life…

 

Shawna K Clark

Opening the door to a better you & me…one step at a time…

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